Some Days are Good, Some Days are Bad

With endometriosis I have good days and I have bad days. Bad days are when I'm in pain and have little to no energy. Good days are when I feel more like a normal person and have energy and a desire to do the things I need to do. I want to give you a peak into my life on a good day and a bad day.

Bad Day

Wake up and start to plan what I need to do today

Ouch my back.

Eat breakfast

I'm exhausted, I'll get those things done this afternoon.

Sit or lay in bed and watch tv for awhile.

I'm hungry. Eat lunch.

Back hurts worse and starting to cramp in my pelvis area now. It's like it's radiating.

In pain and still exhausted, I'll have to get those things done tomorrow.

I need to shower, I smell bad.

Maybe it'll help.

Take shower.

Nope it did not help.

Even more exhausted.

Eat dinner.

Randy is home!

Sit in bed and talk and watch our YouTubes.

Read scriptures and pray.

Randy falls asleep super fast.

I'm wide awake next to him wondering what happened to the exhaustion I've been feeling all day.

Fall asleep 2-3 hours later

Good Day

I actually had a good day yesterday :) here's how it went.

Wake up and plan out my day.

Eat breakfast and watch a couple episodes of my show.

Get restless and walk to the kitchen.

Decide to play the piano for awhile.

Lunchtime!

Eat and watch an episode of my show.

Get restless again.

Walk to the kitchen and remember about our ward Halloween party.

Put a crockpot taco soup together and get it cooking.

Decide that I smell bad and I take a shower.

Get dressed in actual clothes.

Load up Oscar and we go visit Randy at work!

Come home and get everything ready for the Halloween party.

Go to Halloween party.

Get to know new people (new ward).

Help clean up after.

Go home and play with Oscar.

Randy's home!

We watch our YouTubes and talk.

Read scriptures and pray.

Randy falls asleep right away.

Only an hour to fall asleep this time!!


Not every bad day do I lay around. Sometimes I push through the pain and try to act normal. If it's a bad day that I'm pushing through you might see me grimace because of pain but I do my best to hide it.

As my endometriosis has gotten worse I have fewer good days and more bad days. I try my best to make them all look like they are good days. Because I truly believe that if you see them as good then they will be better than if you see them as bad.

I love this picture because it kinda describes 

how my body may be a little broken but I'm still ok.

Til next time!
Becca

IUI #1- First Appointment

Before I tell you about my first appointment for IUI #1, I wanted to share a scripture from my reading yesterday that stuck out to me. It's Mormon 5:23 and it says, "Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God? Know ye not that he hath all power, and at his great command the earth shall be rolled together as a scroll?" I really liked this because it reminded me that the Lord has all power and he knows when the time is right for me to get pregnant and begin our family :) when that time is I do not know but I trust that when that time is right the Lord will use that power to help us get pregnant!

Ok onto the story!

At my first appointment for the IUI process I had a whirl of emotions going on. I was hopeful, scared,  happy, sad, and worried all at once! This first appointment was just an ultrasound. This ultrasound would be used as a baseline for the rest of my appointments before the IUI would be done. The worst thing about this ultrasound was that it had to be done on day 3 of my cycle, which meant that I was on my period... It's bad enough having to get half naked for appointments but being on your period makes that 100 times worse! Not fun at all.

This ultrasound confirmed that I do not have PCOS. It also gave them an idea of my baseline for my lining. These are both important things since they determined the medications and amounts of each that I would need.

After the appointment was over they went over the schedule for the rest of the IUI process. They told me when to come back and when to take the medications I was prescribed.

I was prescribed 3 different medications. The first was Femara, which I had to take starting on day 5 for 5 days. This medication is used to increase the number of eggs I produce, which more eggs produced means a higher chance to get pregnant. The 2nd medication I was prescribed was a shot of HCG. This I did not use until later and I'll explain what it was in the appointment I used it in. The 3rd  medication was progesterone. This I did not use until after they did they IUI.

When I saw these medications I was being prescribed all I could think was that I was probably going to be a hormonal wreck. That prediction turned out to be very true!

After the appointment was over I still was stressed and worried but my hope was a little higher than before and we hoped that this process would go quick! We went and filled the prescriptions and went home until the next appointment.

I hope you all are having a great week!
Til next time!
Becca

Life is NOT just about Infertility!!

I want you all to know that life is NOT just about infertility!! There is so much more! It took me awhile to figure that out, and when I did my perspective changed. I realized that whether I have children or not, life is going to keep going, and I can either live it to the fullest or be depressed and sad. I choose to live it to the fullest!!

Because of this change in perspective, my husband and I decided that we wouldn't continue waiting for children to make life changes. We of course rely on the Lord in making any type of decision, big or small, and we now know that it's ok to ask about larger changes. For example, moving to Wyoming was a huge change that we probably wouldn't have made if we hadn't relied on the Lord and realized that he knew where we needed to be. Even though this meant changing doctors and stopping the search for answers for awhile.

Some big life changes we've made since moving to Wyoming are buying a house and getting a dog!! We always knew that we would eventually buy a house and we knew we'd always get a dog. We just never expected them to come so soon!

Buying a house was a long process and there were lots of ups and downs while doing the search. I'll go through that process in a little more detail in another post! We finally found the one we liked and we do not regret it one bit! We are still trying to have kids but we aren't putting our lives on hold until they come.

Our Home :) 

It looks different now since we pulled those large bushes out!

Speaking of kids, we got ourselves a fur baby! I'm so grateful for my little pup! He's helped me cope with so many emotions over the few months since we got him. He literally is a member of our family, my little baby boy. He's growing up quick but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Our puppy Oscar!

Please feel free to share in the comments how you keep living your life to the fullest!!
Til next time!
Becca

The Phone Call

While titling this post, and coming up with "the Phonecall," all I could think was that it really sounds foreboding! But trust me it was a good phone call. Full of answers and hope!


Here's a picture of me and my hubby goofing off :) just cause.

I received the call from my doctor with the results from our blood tests and from Randy's semen analysis. They had not received all of Randy's blood test results back but those that they had gotten were normal! My results for the blood test came back normal as well. Along with the blood tests, my doctor also had me tested to see how my egg reserve was. She said that it was excellent and that I still had plenty of eggs in reserve! It was great news, but all I could think besides 'yay! Lots of eggs means more chances for babies!' Was 'oh no! More eggs means more periods!' Lol that tells you how much I hate having periods!

Randy and I were both worried about his results from the semen analysis. Since his test with our last doctor was so low. Well we were surprised when she told us that his numbers were now at 18 million! Slightly abnormal since they wanted them at 20 or above. The morphology and mobility were either right at where they needed to be or just slightly below! We were relieved and excited! Because 18 million is much better than 1.5 million any day!

Now that we had the results we talked with our doctor to decide where to go next. After some deliberation we decided that with my next cycle we would do an IUI (interuterine insemenation). This is where they take sperm and put it through a "wash" which makes it safe for them to place them directly into the uterus. This raises the chances of pregnancy compared to regular means. Which for us do not seem to work. We were so excited! We were finally getting answers! We finally found a doctor who is proactive in helping us to get pregnant! We had plans made for what to do next!


Now this is a side note- I have been thinking this past week about doing a highlight day. This would be a day where you as readers can share your stories! Whether they are success or like mine where it is ongoing. Let me know in the comments of you would like if I did this :)

Til next time!
Becca

Current Doctor - 1st Appointment - July 2015

Because we moved, it took us a long time to find a new doctor. Where we live, there are no REs (reproductive endocrinologists), so we were debating on a town fairly close with some that came recommended and that our insurance would cover (at least some of the procedures). We decided to go with someone in Utah, since we have family that we could stay with if needed. We asked around and if any of you watch VLOGS (video blogs) we emailed Ellie and Jared, a couple who shared their journey through infertility with those, and asked them who they recommended. They lived in the area we were looking into for a doctor. We felt really good about the doctor they recommended after we'd prayed about it and so we called and set up our first appointment.

Our first appointment was a consultation. This is where the doctor sits down and talks with you about your past test results and then you all decide where to go next.
Man was this an eye opening appointment!
She had received the results of all our past tests and went over them all with us! So we found out that the ultrasound I had done was normal. She asked me about my painful periods and almost immediately was willing to diagnose why they were so painful! She asked me if I'd ever been checked for endometriosis and I told her that I hadn't. She told me that we were going to assume that I had it and that any treatments done would be done with that in mind. She later confirms this diagnosis during another appointment. We also were told the results of Randy's semen analysis. Which turns out were not good :( his numbers were only 1.5 million and they should have been upwards of 20 million. She immediately asked us if we wanted to have him retested. We of course said yes.

During this appointment, she also did a vaginal ultrasound on me. Just so she could see any possible issues, like PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) and to check my lining to see where I was at in my cycle. I do not have PCOS but I know many women who do. After she was done with the ultrasound she had my husband immediately go and do his semen analysis. She also went and wrote up some blood work orders for us to get done. When we had finished with the appointment we set up a time for two weeks from that day to talk with her on the phone about the results from the blood work and semen analysis. And we'd decide from there what to do.

Now I know you all want to know what that phone call entailed :) but I'm going to make you wait until Tuesday for those details :)

I know it's mean, but I gotta leave you hanging just a little bit right? No? Well I'm making you wait anyway ;)

Thank you all for reading and following our story!
Til next time!
Becca

When You See That Negative...

When you're going through infertility, you see negative pregnancy tests all the time. What do you do? How should you react? Do you give up hope? Do you keep going?

Well I can tell you that I have seen a lot of negatives! And yes it's hard every single time. What I usually do is cry. It's ok to cry! It's healthy and for me it really helps to get that pain out. I cry to get those sad feelings out and then I pick myself back up to try again. Now you don't have to cry if you don't want, a lot of women don't. And I don't always cry, usually it's just those months where I really thought I was finally pregnant. I can't tell you how to react because we all will react differently, some women will get mad, some will cry, and some will be fine. It really is up to you how you react.

One thing I think you should never do is give up hope! I did that once and it was the worst few months of my life! During those few months, I was angry, at myself, at my loving Heavenly Father, and at my husband too. I stopped praying, I lost my desire to try to have kids, and I was extremely depressed! It took me awhile to climb out of that pit and to ask for forgiveness. I slowly began to pray again, and when I began to pray and ask forgiveness I slowly became happier. To climb out of that depression was amazing!! Throughout it all I knew I still wanted kids and when I finally was out of that depression I began to have hope again! I gained my desire to try to have kids back! Yes it's still hard but I cling to that hope with my whole heart! That is why I'm telling you to never lose hope!! It's so much easier to hold on to the hope than it is to let it go and lose it.

Over the time that my husband and I have been TTC, I stopped taking pregnancy tests. My cycle is regular enough that we decided to save money on the tests so that we could use it for procedures to help us get pregnant. Now my negative pregnancy test is when my period begins. If it's late, then I take a test but that's a very rare occurrence.

Someday (and hopefully that someday is soon), I will see that positive! And those of you who have been TTC will someday see one too! Never give up hope! I want all of you reading this, whether you've been TTC for awhile, just beginning your journey, or even if you aren't TTC. I want each of you to never give up hope! Don't ever lose sight of your dreams, whatever they may be! For they will be achieved someday!

Til next time!
Becca

Doctor #2- September 2013-February 2014

After searching for a few months and asking friends if they had any recommendations for doctors, and after getting a list and praying about it, we finally decided on a new doctor.

Our first visit to this doctor went great! He asked us how long we'd been trying (by this point it had been 2 years). He also asked the period pain question, to which I answered, 10. He was like really?, that is no fun especially when you're TTC. I'm going to prescribe you ponstel, which is like ibuprofen but much stronger. He told me to take it at the first onset of cramps, even if I hadn't started bleeding. And that was awesome for me because I felt like finally a doctor was willing to help with my pain. (At this point I had not been diagnosed with endometriosis) This doctor also set up some ultrasounds for me to check my uterus and ovaries.

At the ultrasound appointment not too much later, maybe a couple weeks to a month? The ultrasound tech took the ultrasounds of everything and sent them and the results back to my doctor. She was not allowed to diagnose or clear me of anything while there, just was allowed to do the ultrasounds and be done. Our doctor never called us with the results from this ultrasound :( and knowing what I know now, I should have called to ask for them. Anyways, on with the story!

The next step this doctor took was to see if I was ovulating. As you know our first doctor didn't do any tests but automatically assumed I was not ovulating, so we were very happy that this doctor was willing to do the tests! For this test, they had me come in on day 21 of my cycle. All I had to do was give blood!! So easy for me to do! Just give my blood a voila! I'm done! A couple days later they called me with my results! Yay finally some results!! The nurse said that they usually want the levels above a 10 (I believe they checked my progesterone if I remember correctly) and that I had definitely ovulated since my numbers were at a 16!! This was great news!! I ovulate on my own!! Woohoo!! This confirmed to me that Randy and I had made the right choice in not doing chlomid with the first doctor!

Well, now that we knew I ovulated, my doctor wanted me to get an HSG done. HSG stands for hysterosalpingogram, which is a procedure where the put a dye into the uterus and Fallopian tubes to make sure there are no blockages. I had to take 1000 mg of ibuprofen before the procedure to help with possible pain. Usually the procedure can cause period-like cramps. When I went in they had a nurse who usually performed this procedure attempt to do the procedure but she couldn't get the catheter in. She called a doctor in and this doctor assured me that usually with the time it takes for him to get in there the muscles relax and he usually can get the catheter in. Unfortunately this was not the case :( he was also unable to get the catheter in. This is because he was unable to get the catheter through my cervix! Throughout all of this I was enduring extreme cramping! Ouch!! :( apparently the reason why they couldn't get the catheter in is because I had what is called vaginal stenosis, which is defined as a narrowing of the cervical canal or as a small flap of skin covering the entry to the uterus. The latter part of that was what my diagnosis was.

My next visit to my doctor, he had received these results from the doctor who attempted the procedure. He didn't believe him!! So he checked for himself! Here I am on no pain medication and this doctor is attempting to get a catheter through my cervix. And you wanna know what he said? "Oh, they were right." They were right! Of course they were right! They know what they're doing too!! Ok I'm calming down now. This doctor also decided that since he was already in there he would fix the issue. Now I'm preparing you women, what he did next was extremely painful, and I'm sure as you read it you'll all go OWWUCH! And let me tell you, it was some of the worst pain I've ever felt! He proceeded to SCRAPE with a small plastic tool, where the blockage was! And there I was squeezing my husband's hand crying out in pain because it hurt so bad!! As soon as he finished scraping, he removed all of his tools and told me and my husband that it was now open and that they were going to leave me alone for awhile and focus on Randy.

My doctor sent Randy to get a semen analysis done. So, Randy went and got the test done but we were never given or told any results from it. We waited a year figuring that since we never got told the results it meant they were good. And now that my cervix was clear that maybe we'd get pregnant. We were wrong. During that year we ended up moving and so the doctor search was back on. Also I kinda refused to go back to this doctor again due to the pain and so few results that we were given.

Thank you for taking the time to read this very long blog post :) stay tuned for the next portion of my story! New posts every Tuesday and Thursday!! Baby dust to all of you who are struggling or just beginning their journey to pregnancy!

-Becca

What is Endometriosis?

A lot of people don't know what Endometriosis actually is and so I decided to do a post specifically about it. WEBMD defines Endometriosis as tissue that is normally found in the uterus growing on other parts of the body. These areas could be your ovaries, Fallopian tubes, bowel, or other internal parts. When our hormones change during our cycle the tissue breaks down and may cause pain.

Some of the symptoms I had that made me suspicious that I had Endometriosis were extremely painful periods. I'm talking pain so bad I cannot function. Most of the time I get extremely dizzy, nauseous, and most of the time I puke more than once due to pain. I dont just get cramps while on my period, I usually have some sort of cramping everyday, nothing near as bad as while on my period (thank goodness!) but small cramps that I wish were my period cramps! Another symptom I had was that I noticed that I was tired, all of the time! There were months where I was just so exhausted that I thought that I might be pregnant because we all know that is a sign. I never was and when I was diagnosed and doing research I discovered this was a big symptom.

Some of you may be wondering what may be the cause of endometriosis? Where does it come from? Or why do people get it? There are a few theories as to why. It could be hereditary which makes sense in my case. My grandma was diagnosed with it when she first got married and was told she may never have kids. Well she went on to have 7 kids and she would have had more but after giving birth to her 7th they immediately took her in and removed everything because of how bad her endometriosis had gotten. Another theory is that Doctors think that it's possible that menstrual blood containing endometrial tissue flows back into the tubes and into the pelvic cavity and continues to bleed and grow.

In order to help with pain I was prescribed a heavy pain medication. This worked for the first couple of months but now I it doesn't work as well and I am beginning to feel the pain again. Another way they treat endometriosis is by putting women on birth control which controls the hormones that cause endometriosis. This was not an option for me since we are trying to have children. Another way is surgery. Where they go in laparoscopically and remove the endometriosis. This is not a long term solution and usually the endometriosis will begin to grow back in 3 months to a year :(

Although it may be more difficult for my husband and I to get pregnant due to me having endometriosis, other women may have no trouble and get pregnant on their own. Some women could also have endometriosis and never have symptoms.

I hope this post was helpful!! :) check back every Tuesday and Thursday for new blog posts! :)

Doctor #1- May 2013

We tried for about a year and a half to have children before starting to seek out help. I researched some doctors and once we decided on one we made an appointment. My first appointment with this first doctor was actually because I had skipped a period and all the at home pregnancy tests were negative. When we got there, we went in and the Doctor did a pap and took some blood to test for STDs and other things. Not once did this doctor do a pregnancy test to see if I was pregnant. I told him that on the scale of 1-10, 10 being the most painful and 1 being not painful at all, that I was at a 10 for how painful my periods were. He did nothing for me just overlooked it.
At this same visit before blood tests or pap results came back he told me that I don't ovulate and that he was going to prescribe me two medications. Provera- which forces your period to start and Chlomid-which is supposed to make you ovulate. After my husband and I talked about it we chose not to fill the prescriptions and we never went back to that doctor!
For you women out there who are TTC (trying to conceive) if your doctor is like this one was and just prescribes you medication and doesn't do any tests FIND A NEW DOCTOR! There is no reason why you should take any medication without validation for taking it first!!