The Room...

I decided to write this post just a little bit differently than I usually write my posts. This is definitely not a poem lol but I feel like writing this post this way really gets the feeling across of how I feel about the room...

Yes, it's a disaster area lol :)

There is a room in my house.

I am not a fan of going into that room.

Though I have to in order to do laundry...

For now.

So laundry really doesn't get done as much as it should...

Mainly because I try to avoid that room.

Why do I avoid it?

Because that room is the room we have planned to make into a nursery.

When I finally get pregnant...

For now it just sits there.

Collecting junk.

Because that is our go to place to put stuff we don't know where else to put.

I cannot wait until we can clean it out.

And put a crib,

A table,

A chair

In it.

To be able to paint the drab white walls

Some other color.

When will that be?

I do not know...

Hopefully soon.

Because I want to LOVE...

The room.



Becca

Infertility and Pregnancy Announcements

Before I get into this post I wanted to let everyone know that this is a really personal topic. It is also a very sensitive topic for every person going through Infertility. EVERY SINGLE PERSON GOING THROUGH INFERTILITY HANDLES PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENTS DIFFERENTLY! This post is just my personal view. That being said... Here goes.

in a car, outside a house, into your pillow...

I have to be honest. I didn't used to handle pregnancy announcements very well. I mean, I really handled them horribly. From feelings of jealousy, to wishing the worst upon those who announced. I am not proud of this. When going through infertility, you see A LOT of negative pregnancy tests. So anytime someone announces that they got a positive test, that they are pregnant, it hits a spot in those people's hearts that is very tender and sensitive. All we want is to be pregnant and to have a healthy pregnancy, and when someone we know gets that opportunity before us, it hurts.

We are strong, and we will make it through this!

I have seen many, many, pregnancy announcements since I began my journey with Infertility. Some were easier to handle than others. Usually, I struggled more with the announcement if it was someone I knew a little better or if the announcement came the same day I got a negative test. I struggled even more than that if the person said that they were upset that they were pregnant, or that they didn't want another baby at that time but that they would endure the pregnancy and have the baby.

There were some announcements that came a little bit easier for me to handle. These were those where I knew someone was also struggling to get pregnant. To me these were victorious pregnancies. Someone who had struggled finally got pregnant!

Some others that came easier were those that I was expecting. These were from people who had been kind enough to let me know that they had decided to start trying to get pregnant. I love when people tell me this! I am very good at keeping secrets, especially if they are of a sensitive nature. I found that when someone told me that they were trying, I rooted for them. I couldn't wait to hear that they were pregnant. It made it easier for me when they did announce. Again, NOT EVERY PERSON SUFFERING WITH INFERTILITY IS LIKE THIS!

This quote has helped me immensely! I love baby 

snuggles, and I try to get some any chance I get.

It took me a couple of years of infertility and struggling with my feelings of jealousy to figure out a better way to handle the many, many, pregnancy announcements. It was definitely with the help of the Lord. He helped me to realize that every pregnancy was one more person's success. One less person who had to go through the pain of infertility, or one more person who was victorious in defeating infertility.

Yes, I definitely still have my moments where I struggle with pregnancy announcements. I have shed quite a few tears over my 4 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant and seeing others have success before me. But I am getting better at handling them. I am definitely not perfect, and maybe I'll never be. But at least I am trying, and that is what counts.

This is one of my favorite quotes!

To every person out there struggling. PLEASE don't give up! There is success ahead for all of us, whether that be with our own pregnancy announcements, or in the announcement that we are going to adopt a beautiful little baby. We WILL get there. You are not alone!

Becca

Surgery Follow-Up

I realize it has been quite awhile since I last posted. Life has been pretty crazy but I also procrastinate... A lot. The good news is, Randy's follow up appointment was only last week :) so technically I'm doing pretty good lol!

Anyways, this will be a short update. We went to his appointment and they asked a ton of questions about whether he had had any pain, tenderness, or anything like that. He has not which is awesome!! They said that if he did that it was normal for this stage of his recovery.

They then checked the veins. This was to make sure that there was no more blood flowing through those varicose veins. The great news is that there is not!! We were told that eventually the veins would shrivel up and be absorbed into the body. But it'll be a bit before that happens, but don't worry, the blood that is in those veins still is old and cool not hot like it used to be. This means that the sperm is happier than before and that Randy's body will not have to work as hard to produce sperm.

Speaking of sperm...

Randy had to have a semen analysis done so they could see if his numbers have started to improve since the surgery. This is where we received not so great news. His numbers had actually decreased compared with his numbers before surgery. They told us that there is no reason to be worried, yet. They said that this will sometimes happen especially in males whose numbers were already low before surgery. So because of this Randy will have another appointment in 3 months to do another semen analysis. If his numbers have not increased by this point then we will be sent back to my fertility doctor for other options of getting pregnant.

We have faith that everything will work out whichever way we end up going. We are hopeful that his numbers will increase and that we will get pregnant without having to do other measures. We are also hoping/wishing that we can cancel Randy's next appointment because I will be pregnant. We are really crossing our fingers for that to happen!

It is the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week! Please share this post and those that follow to help raise awareness of this terrible ordeal! I am planning on writing a post a day this week in honor of this. So check back and keep an eye out for those!

Til next time!
Becca