Infertility and Pregnancy Announcements

Before I get into this post I wanted to let everyone know that this is a really personal topic. It is also a very sensitive topic for every person going through Infertility. EVERY SINGLE PERSON GOING THROUGH INFERTILITY HANDLES PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENTS DIFFERENTLY! This post is just my personal view. That being said... Here goes.

in a car, outside a house, into your pillow...

I have to be honest. I didn't used to handle pregnancy announcements very well. I mean, I really handled them horribly. From feelings of jealousy, to wishing the worst upon those who announced. I am not proud of this. When going through infertility, you see A LOT of negative pregnancy tests. So anytime someone announces that they got a positive test, that they are pregnant, it hits a spot in those people's hearts that is very tender and sensitive. All we want is to be pregnant and to have a healthy pregnancy, and when someone we know gets that opportunity before us, it hurts.

We are strong, and we will make it through this!

I have seen many, many, pregnancy announcements since I began my journey with Infertility. Some were easier to handle than others. Usually, I struggled more with the announcement if it was someone I knew a little better or if the announcement came the same day I got a negative test. I struggled even more than that if the person said that they were upset that they were pregnant, or that they didn't want another baby at that time but that they would endure the pregnancy and have the baby.

There were some announcements that came a little bit easier for me to handle. These were those where I knew someone was also struggling to get pregnant. To me these were victorious pregnancies. Someone who had struggled finally got pregnant!

Some others that came easier were those that I was expecting. These were from people who had been kind enough to let me know that they had decided to start trying to get pregnant. I love when people tell me this! I am very good at keeping secrets, especially if they are of a sensitive nature. I found that when someone told me that they were trying, I rooted for them. I couldn't wait to hear that they were pregnant. It made it easier for me when they did announce. Again, NOT EVERY PERSON SUFFERING WITH INFERTILITY IS LIKE THIS!

This quote has helped me immensely! I love baby 

snuggles, and I try to get some any chance I get.

It took me a couple of years of infertility and struggling with my feelings of jealousy to figure out a better way to handle the many, many, pregnancy announcements. It was definitely with the help of the Lord. He helped me to realize that every pregnancy was one more person's success. One less person who had to go through the pain of infertility, or one more person who was victorious in defeating infertility.

Yes, I definitely still have my moments where I struggle with pregnancy announcements. I have shed quite a few tears over my 4 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant and seeing others have success before me. But I am getting better at handling them. I am definitely not perfect, and maybe I'll never be. But at least I am trying, and that is what counts.

This is one of my favorite quotes!

To every person out there struggling. PLEASE don't give up! There is success ahead for all of us, whether that be with our own pregnancy announcements, or in the announcement that we are going to adopt a beautiful little baby. We WILL get there. You are not alone!

Becca

Surgery Follow-Up

I realize it has been quite awhile since I last posted. Life has been pretty crazy but I also procrastinate... A lot. The good news is, Randy's follow up appointment was only last week :) so technically I'm doing pretty good lol!

Anyways, this will be a short update. We went to his appointment and they asked a ton of questions about whether he had had any pain, tenderness, or anything like that. He has not which is awesome!! They said that if he did that it was normal for this stage of his recovery.

They then checked the veins. This was to make sure that there was no more blood flowing through those varicose veins. The great news is that there is not!! We were told that eventually the veins would shrivel up and be absorbed into the body. But it'll be a bit before that happens, but don't worry, the blood that is in those veins still is old and cool not hot like it used to be. This means that the sperm is happier than before and that Randy's body will not have to work as hard to produce sperm.

Speaking of sperm...

Randy had to have a semen analysis done so they could see if his numbers have started to improve since the surgery. This is where we received not so great news. His numbers had actually decreased compared with his numbers before surgery. They told us that there is no reason to be worried, yet. They said that this will sometimes happen especially in males whose numbers were already low before surgery. So because of this Randy will have another appointment in 3 months to do another semen analysis. If his numbers have not increased by this point then we will be sent back to my fertility doctor for other options of getting pregnant.

We have faith that everything will work out whichever way we end up going. We are hopeful that his numbers will increase and that we will get pregnant without having to do other measures. We are also hoping/wishing that we can cancel Randy's next appointment because I will be pregnant. We are really crossing our fingers for that to happen!

It is the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week! Please share this post and those that follow to help raise awareness of this terrible ordeal! I am planning on writing a post a day this week in honor of this. So check back and keep an eye out for those!

Til next time!
Becca

Tips on Cramps

As it is endometriosis awareness month I decided that it was time I gave some tips on dealing with cramps. I decided this during my last excruciatingly painful period lol many women suffer with painful periods, not just those who have endometriosis so I hope that this helps many sufferers out there!

I've had this thought multiple times lol!

Cramps. Who wants them? Not me, that's for sure. Unfortunately I get them, always. With endometriosis I don't just get them while on my period. For example, I had some pretty painful cramps this last month that lasted a week before I even began my period! It stinks! Then I get my lovely cramps during my period. (Note the sarcasm with the word lovely). So because of this I had to learn a few tricks to help deal with the pain. Some you may know already. Others may surprise you :)

      1. Stay Hydrated 

I am horrible at remembering to drink water! But I find that if I do I don't seem to get as dizzy and lightheaded. I'm not so sure how well it helps my cramps specifically, but I know many women who say that it helps lesson the pain.

2. Hot Water

This one is my life saver! I find that getting in a tub full of hot water helps me to relax and let my body do its thing. I've found my cramps are much less painful this way. For those who think it's gross sitting in a tub full of filth you can also sit in the tub and allow the shower to spray directly onto your pelvic area. I personally like to start out with the shower and plug the drain so that the tub fills as the shower is going. This allows the heat of the water to stay in the tub, relaxing you and your muscles. Also a plus for me is that the water from the shower head kind of gently massages where I get the worst cramps which helps to relax my muscles more.

3. Heating Pad

What do I do when I run out of hot water or get bored of sitting in the tub? I pull out my heating pad. Another lifesaver. Though this isn't as efficient as the tub/shower combo. It is still heat that is helping most of the muscles to relax. I usually use this at night. I lay the heating pad across my side so that the heat radiates to my back and to my front. I usually will rotate sides so that I can get relief all around.

4. Sleep

Sleep. That's about all you need to do for this tip. Sleeping helps your body to fully relax and you get some rest as well. You really do need more sleep when you are on your period than when you aren't. So don't feel too bad about sneaking in a nap!

5. Jerky

I don't remember the exact reasons why eating jerky helps with cramps, I just know my college nutrition teacher told us about it and so I tried it and it really does help! If you start eating it a few days before your period begins and then while you're on it you will find you have more energy and the cramps will be less painful (at least this is how it works for me). Jerky is kinda expensive though so I don't get the luxury of having it every month :(

6. Poop

Some of you may laugh at this but it really is true! I unfortunately get super constipated while on my period and so pooping isn't always something I can do lol. But I find that pooping helps to lesson the cramps that I may be having at that time. This is due to the fact that while you're on your period you are already bloated and so anything extra (pee or poop) puts even more pressure on your already cramping uterus causing extra pain that you really don't need to be having.

These are just a few tips to hopefully help you out! If you have any other tips please post them in the comments! I would love to try out any tips that you have! Whether you use these tips or not is up to you!

Til next time!
Becca

Recovery

For the past week since Randy's surgery he has been slowly recovering. We were told that his incisions would have seepage and that has been true. Not much thankfully but he has had a little bit of blood and some watery looking stuff as well.

The first couple of days after the surgery were rough. Partly because we were traveling home and also because those first couple of days are the worst ones after surgery. He was on a lot of pain meds. Which reminds me of the night right after the surgery...

We had to set alarms for when he had to take pain pills because once you have a lapse in those it's hard to get the pain back under control. So we both set our alarms for the 2 times he'd have to wake up in the night to take them. The first alarm went off and it took a little bit before Randy finally woke up enough to take them. The next time the alarm went off I think he was pretty delirious. I had pressed snooze on mine just in case he took just as long as the first time for him to take them. When my alarm went off again and he still hadn't taken them I nudged him and said that he needed to wake up and take his medicine. He said that he would. When he still didn't, I nudged him again and told him to take it and this time he pretty much yelled at me saying "CHILL, I WILL TAKE IT!" Not quite an actual yell but he was not happy lol. (he rarely if ever yells) It took him probably another 5 minutes and then I finally heard him sit up and take his medicine. Once he had I asked him if he remembered yelling at me. He said kinda but not what he said. So I told him and then teased him about it because it was so out of character for him.

He went back to work last saturday and he attempted to wear normal pants. Not the best idea ever. He complained to me half way through his shift that it was rubbing his incisions and making them hurt. He had to suffer through it til the end of his shift and then he immediately took his pants off when he got home. He wore sweats to work for the next few days. When he finally wore pants again I asked him when he called me how he was and the first thing he said was hungry and then immediately after that he couldn't wait to get his pants off! (They had been rubbing his incisions and he couldn't wait to get into sweats)

Randy's incisions are healing up slowly but nicely and he is not using as much pain meds as he was at the beginning. He will soon have all his restrictions that were given to him at discharge lifted and he'll be able to live a normal life again! He's felt bad because he has not been allowed to lift anything heavy and so our sidewalk has suffered snow drifts for a week. (They have now been cleared thanks to Randy) He got frustrated and took a small shovel and did small scoops of snow until it was cleared (or so he says - not sure if I fully believe him about the small scoops) :)

Overall we are both just grateful that he is healing so quickly and so well and we can't wait until we see what the doctor has to say in his follow up appointment in a couple months!

Til next time!
Becca

Randy's Surgery

I am a little late with updating you all on Randy's surgery. It was actually last Thursday and I just haven't gotten around to writing about it until now.

We arrived for the surgery about a half hour early. We hadn't been told anything at this point except for when to show up and what the surgery was for. So we had no idea how long the surgery was going to last or what exactly they had to do in the surgery. They took us back right on time and we were told that he would be taken back for surgery in about an hour after they did all the prep.

Randy changed into his lovely hospital gown and they began getting him prepped. They attached all the monitors and an IV drip. Then the doctors came in one by one to explain what was going to happen.

All dressed up and ready to go. Don't you just love his socks?

The first to come in was the anesthesiologist. He explained that Randy would be put under general anesthesia and that once he was out that they would intubate him. Meaning they'd put a tube into his throat to help him breathe.

The next doctor who came in was the one actually performing the surgery. He explained that he would go in through a small 1 inch incision on each side of the pelvis and find the varicocele veins and tie them off. He told us that the most he had ever seen was 21 but that he highly doubted Randy would have that many. We asked him how long the surgery would take and he said no longer than an hour.

After almost 2 hours since we'd been brought back, they finally took Randy back and asked me to go wait in the waiting room until they came and got me. (They use the rooms for multiple patients for quicker flow). So I went out to the waiting room and played games and watched the movie they had playing. After I'd been out there for about 20 minutes I heard someone call out ...enson. I waited to see if it was someone else and when no one else reacted I thought that maybe they had said Denson. So I stood and they took me back. I was worried that something had gone wrong because it had not been anywhere near an hour since they'd taken Randy back for surgery.

Well when we got back to the room, the nurse pulled back the curtain...

and it was not Randy.

I kinda stood there for a second and then asked the nurse if she had said Denson. She was like oops nope I said Jenson! Then she kinda laughed at herself and escorted me back to the waiting room. The gentleman who was not Randy told me it was nice to meet me as we left. She told me that that happens more often than you would think. She then asked the secretary at the counter if she knew where Mrs. Jenson was. She told her that she was just around the corner sleeping on a bench. Once they'd gotten her I heard the nurse tell her that they'd tried to give her husband away. But that I'd said no.

It was back to the waiting game for me. After it had been a little over an hour the nurse came out and called out Becca (I think they learned their lesson lol) and she told me that Randy was out of surgery and was now in recovery and that the doctor wanted to talk to me about how it went.

I was taken to a small room and the doctor came in soon after. He pulled out some pictures he had taken during surgery and explained what I was seeing to me (I thought about adding these but they are a little gruesome with the veins and gore and all that so I didn't). He told me that on Randy's left side, they had found 8 varicoceles and on the left he had 6. He said that it went very well and that Randy hadn't bled nearly as much as some he had done in the past. He then said that I could go back out to the waiting room until Randy was out of recovery.

Let the waiting begin again. Randy was in recovery for just over an hour. When they finally came out to get me I was still worried that there was someone else named Becca and that they'd take me to the wrong husband again. So when they pulled back the curtain and it was actually Randy I was pretty relieved.

Surgery went great! Can I sleep now?

Randy slept a little bit and recovered a little more. A nurse checked back every 15 minutes to see how he was doing. After the third time of this she asked Randy if he wanted to stay and sleep a little more or if he wanted to go home. Of course he said I want to go home. She went through all the discharge instructions and gave me his prescriptions so we could get them filled. We then wheeled him out to the car in a wheel chair and went on our way.

We are so very grateful for the doctors who performed the surgery and for the nurses who took care of him! We are very hopeful that we will finally get pregnant and have children! We are also very grateful for all the prayers that were said for Randy's surgery! Thank you!

Randy will have a follow up appointment to see how his sperm count is in about 3 months. We are hoping and praying that they are good numbers!

I will give you all an update on how he is recovering in my next post!

Til next time!
Becca

2am ER Visit

Before I get to the ER visit I want to give you a little background from the few weeks leading up to it.
December 17- We were traveling to Utah for Randy's first appointment. We stopped and ate Jimmy Johns for dinner. I took over driving. I ended up super bloated- so bloated I felt like I was going to puke and I was in extreme pain. So we switched drivers. We debated that night about going to the dr. We eventually decided to wait til morning and if I was still in pain then we'd go. By morning most of the pain was gone.

Over the next few weeks I had this sort of thing happen again and again though nowhere near as bad as the first time. I just took tums because I got really bad heartburn as well. Those seemed to help a little.

Fast forward to last Saturday. By this point, I was having pain just about every time I ate something, and sometimes even without eating anything. This particular Saturday the pain didn't seem to go away except when I was walking. Sunday I attempted church but left early because I was feeling nauseous and dizzy. So I went home and slept all day. Literally. All day. Monday morning, I felt better than the day before but I still had pain. By the time we were going to bed that night I was in so much pain I couldn't sleep.

Now I know it is not good to have this much pain. The only thing that seemed to help were tums and passing gas. My bowel movements were still regular so I knew I didn't have a bowel obstruction causing this. I hate going to doctors, so I debated for a long time Monday night about whether it would be worth it to even go. Then I started to freak myself out, maybe it's been my appendix this whole time, or its my gall bladder. Maybe I have something else really wrong. It was the middle of the night, I was in pain, I was tired, what would you expect? Finally about 2 am I made my decision. I woke up Randy and we went to the ER.

When we got there the ER lady at the desk asked us what had brought us in. So we told her abdominal pain. She jumped up immediately and filled out our paperwork for us. If I hadn't been tired and in pain this may have freaked me out more but luckily it didn't. She got us back quickly and they immediately began testing and asking questions. They took blood and gave me an IV with fluids. After they got the IV hooked up they gave me some kind of pain medicine. It made me loopy.

To describe what I mean by loopy. I thought I sounded strange to myself. Everything I answered it sounded like I answered with a gleeful/giggly voice. Almost like I wasn't taking it seriously. Which I assure you I was. Randy told me the next day that I actually didn't sound like that and that it actually just took me a few seconds longer than normal to answer.

After they took my blood they got the CT ready and took me to get one done. That was weird. The contrast made me feel strangely warm in weird places. Like my nose, throat, and it made me feel like if wet my pants (I had not).

After the CT they took me back and they had me get them a urine sample.

I'm making this sound like each of these happened in sequence but in actuality there was probably a half hour or more in between each test.

So after waiting a couple hours we finally got some results. Blood tests came back clean and so did the urine test. Now we were waiting for the CT results. When they came back the doctor told me that my appendix was fine (they didn't say anything about gall bladder at least not that I remember) and that the CT had shown that I have an ovarian cyst.

An ovarian cyst? That's what's been causing me all this pain? I thought they only hurt when they ruptured. I guess I was wrong. Since I'm in so much pain already I'm worried for how much pain I'll be in if/when it does rupture. I'm hoping that it doesn't and that it just goes away. A girl can hope right? Anyways, they prescribed me two different types of pain medication. And sent us home with instructions to follow up with a primary Doctor and to return to the ER if I start vomiting, get a fever, have vaginal bleeding, or a couple other things I can't remember off the top of my head.

It's been a couple of days now and I still have pain. I stopped taking the stronger pain med because it made me so dizzy. I've just been taking the less strong medication and that seems to keep the pain at bay. But I can only take that one for so long. I guess we'll see what my primary Doctor says. I will keep you updated.

Til next time!
Becca

PS- Randy's surgery is this next week so please keep him in your prayers and that everything will go as planned in the surgery. Thank you!

New Year Resolutions!!

Before I jump into the New Year Resolutions, I wanted to give you all a quick update on Randy's surgery. We have a date set for him to get it done!! He will be having surgery February 4th :) ok on to the resolutions!

It's that time of year again!! The time where we all make resolutions that we all end up failing at lol :)  I usually don't make any but this year I had a friend tell me her and her husbands system when they set the resolutions or goals for the year and I loved it!! So I told Randy about it and we decided to set some goals for ourselves :)

To make it easy on myself, I will be B, Randy will be R, and together will be T. Sounds confusing right now but you'll understand in a moment!

Personal

B- be a better housekeeper. For those who know me really well they know that I'm not the best at keeping up on the housework. So my goal is to keep up better than I currently do. I still may not be perfect but hey at least I'm trying right?

R- be more positive and less grouchy. For those of you who work retail, this will make complete sense. After dealing with grumpy customers all day it's hard to stay positive. Randy set his personal goal to be better.

Educational

B- learn more quilting techniques. I love to quilt and I'm always wanting to learn more!

R- figure out the best time to return to school. We know the sooner he gets back the better. We just have to decide whether it would be best for him to return to school this summer or next spring.

Financial

T- pay off personal debt consolidation loan. Yes we have debt. I know very few people who don't. Our goal is to get all or most of our loan payed off. We got this loan to pay off some credit card debt that seemed like no matter how much we paid on it it never seemed to go down.

Physical

B- get outside more. I don't need to lose weight I'm perfectly fine where I am. But I do need to get outside more. This I believe will help me get fit, meaning more muscle :) getting outside more means to me that I walk more, or garden, or play with my dogs. Maybe even hike. I don't really know, just getting my butt off the couch lol

R- more muscle! Randy would like to gain some muscle this year :)

T- drink less soda. Randy and I LOVE Dr Pepper and our goal this year is to drink less. So far we aren't doing so great with this one ;) but we are trying.

Spiritual

B & R- work on personal scripture study. We both had the same goal with this one :) we do really great at family scripture study but our personal is lacking quite a bit! So we want to be better about taking the time personally to read the scriptures.

T- be better about saying our family and personal prayers. This is another area we've been lacking in. For the first few years of our marriage we did really well with this. Rarely missing a night, then we slowly stopped with personal prayers. Saying them some nights but not others and then the same thing happened with our family prayers. So we made a goal to get back on track with saying them every day.

Hopefully these inspired you :) and maybe you can help keep us on track! Also a quick apology for not blogging for so long. Christmas and New Years kinda threw me off. Maybe I should make a goal to actually get my blogs up on time lol ;) anyways, I wish you all a happy new year!

Til next time!
Becca