IUI #1- Test Day

As test day got closer and closer Randy and I got more and more nervous and hopeful. I mean we were excited but neither of us knew what the test would come back as. We were hopeful it would be positive but also nervous and knew that there was also the possibility for it to be negative. We had in the back of our minds all the past fails and I think that helped us to stay more grounded instead of up in the clouds with our hopes too high.

I debated with myself multiple times about taking an at home test just so I'd be prepared in case it was negative. After going back and forth for a few days I decided it would be best to wait.

When test day was finally here we drove to the doctors office so I could give my blood. The nurse was super nice but I ended up with the biggest bruise I have ever gotten from a blood draw! After she had finished she told us that we would get a call with the results later that afternoon.

While waiting we went and visited with family and friends and went and ate lunch. I kept hoping that when the call came we wouldn't be with family so that we could either have a happy or sad moment together.

As 1 o clock passed, then 2, then 3. I got more and more nervous and worried that maybe they wouldn't call and that we'd have to wait til the next week for results. As 4 o clock rolled around with still no call I had just about given up hope that they would call. Then the phone finally rang. We were at a mall and Randy unfortunately was in line purchasing something to drink. So I took the phone call myself.

As I'm typing this, all of the emotions of that day and the few days following are coming back.

The phone call went as follows.

Me: Hello
Doctor: Is this Rebecca Denson?
M: Yes, it is.
D: Hi, Rebecca. I was calling to let you know the results of your test this morning.
M: Ok...?
D: I am sorry to inform you but the test came back negative.
M: Oh, ok. Thank you.
D: We would like you to stop taking your medication and when your cycle begins give us a call.
M: Ok, I will. Thank you.
D: Goodbye.
M: Bye

This is a good representation of how we felt.

We were in a very public place so I had to hold myself together. I told Randy the results. And not too long after we left. When we got in the car we talked about it all. We decided that I needed to stay with my family until my cycle started since that would be in a couple of days. And that I would go to the first ultrasound for the next IUI myself with either my sister or my mom. Since Randy had to be back to work.

 We then went to visit Randy's grandma. She knew why we were down and she asked if we had gotten the results. I couldn't speak, and luckily Randy could and he told her that it was a no. Thankfully she changed the subject and we had a nice visit with her. We then headed back to Wyoming.

Randy called his parents and let them know. My sister texted me and we texted her back and let her know as well. When we got to my families house everyone was asleep so we went in to the guest room and fell asleep too.

The next morning Randy left to head home for work later that day and I stayed. My parents had to work so I didn't see them until they got back. This whole time I thought my sister had been with my family and had told them all the results. When my parents asked what the results were I realized I was wrong and that she hadn't. Randy wasn't there to tell them for me so I had to tell them I was not pregnant. I cried for the first time and my mom cried with me. I explained to them our plan for me to stay until my cycle began so we could do another IUI.

This was one of the hardest blogs I have ever had to write. It is definitely one of the most emotional ones so far at least for me. That day was one of the hardest days that I've had to go through so far. I know that you are all just as hopeful as I am that some day that call will be the one that says, Congrats! You're pregnant! I hope that day is sooner rather than later.

This is one of my favorite talks from Elder Holland. 

You can either read the talk here: Talk 

Or watch the mormon message here: Good Things to Come Video

Randy and I have not given up hope. One failed attempt does not mean we have to quit. It actually taught us so much and raised questions for both Randy and I and our doctor which I will write about soon :) Every time you fail at something you learn something new that you remember the next time you try. These things you learn eventually help you succeed and I look forward to the day when we have finally learned everything we need to know and succeed in our attempts to get pregnant! :)

For those wondering where I am at in telling our story this happened back in September so we are slowly getting closer to where we are in our story now. :)

I hope your day goes awesome!
Til next time!
Becca

Also just a note, as Thanksgiving is next week and I believe that day should be spent with family. There will be no new blog posts the whole week of Thanksgiving!

The Two Week Wait- IUI #1

For anyone trying to get pregnant, the worst part is the two week wait (TWW). For those who don't know what this is, here is a brief explanation.

The TWW is the time from when a woman ovulated to when she can test to see if she is pregnant. This is usually about 14 days, i.e.: two weeks. Got it? Great :)

Now this TWW after the IUI had been done was probably THE worst one I've ever had! The hormones that I had been given affected me A LOT!

First off, the HCG trigger shot. This I knew would probably give me an idea of how I would be while pregnant. I had read that a lot of women got really bad morning sickness while others did not, and that the symptoms they experienced coincided with what they actually experienced while pregnant. Well I can tell you this much, I'm looking forward to getting pregnant because I didn't even feel nauseous! But it did make me EXTREMELY tired. Like, sleeping 12 hours at night and taking a 3-4 hour nap during the day. It also made my girls aka: boobs ;) extremely achy and sore.

On top of that I was also taking the progesterone. This made me VERY emotional! I mean I would cry at the drop of a dime for no reason at all! It was horrible! A pro to taking the progesterone was that my hair thickened up. It was so nice!

One horrible side effect that I'm not sure caused it was that I got rashes. They would show up, itch really bad for awhile, and then they'd be gone. Not fun!

I've come to the conclusion that when I am finally pregnant, I'm going to be an extremely tired, very emotional, rashy woman with fabulous hair! Lol!

I think that this specific TWW was the worst also because we knew that we had a higher chance of getting pregnant. At least a little higher than any other month up to that point. And we were hopeful that it would work out like we would like it to.

For any women out there suffering through the dreaded TWW, I feel ya! And there are many other women who know what you're going through as well!

Til next time!
Becca

Dreams and Deja Vu...

How many of you have dreams? How many of you have dreams that turn into Deja Vu moments? How many of you just have the Deja Vu moments?

Well I have all three and frequently!

Usually my dreams are pretty vivid and I've discovered that if I am close to waking up I can pretty much control the dream. It's actually kinda fun! I've gotten to fly in my dreams multiple times just by spreading my arms and flapping lol. I would love if that could actually happen!

When I have dreams that turn into deja vu moments, I usually do not remember that it was a dream until the deja vu moment happens. It can be kinda freaky sometimes because the real life moment will go pretty much as my dream went. I sometimes will say something just slightly different just so it is different. These moments happen at random, from helping someone at a cash register to walking around a corner in my house.

Sometimes the deja vu moments will be just that, deja vu. No dream will pop into my head, finally remembered. Just those weird moments that seem very familiar.

You all are probably wondering where I'm going with this lol. Don't worry I'm about to enlighten you! I wanted to share a specific dream that, in a way, became a reality.

When I had this dream, I was super confused because it made no sense! It wasn't for almost a year and a half that it finally clicked as to what it was and why I had had the dream!

THE DREAM

The dream started off pretty normal my older sister had announced to the family that she was expecting again and we were all excited. Then not too long after I discovered that I was expecting! We were excited because that meant our kids would be close in age and could grow up together.

This is where the dream started to get weird. My older sister was still pregnant but I had given birth! It was strange to me but just kinda went with it. Then this little baby boy who was supposed to be 3 months old looked and acted like he was 7! All I could think was "wait a minute! you should still be nursing!" My older sister throughout all of this was still pregnant!

I then woke up.

I was super confused! I kinda compared how quickly I'd been pregnant in my dream with the Twilight books when Bella was pregnant and it was like double time for her to have the baby.

Well I kinda put the dream into the back of my mind for a year and a half.

My realization of what the dream meant hit me a couple months ago.

This past spring, my older sister announced that she was pregnant! About a month or so later we figured out that we were going to get a puppy! (Do you see where I'm going with this?) For those who do not know, dogs grow super fast! Our puppy is a boy, and when he was only 3 months old I remembered this dream and realized that it was the Lord's way of telling me that he was sending me a child. (Cue the tears while typing this lol)

Oscar at 6 Weeks, just after we picked him up!

The Lord knew that I needed one to help me until we could get pregnant. And even though I didn't realize it at the time I had the dream. It was the Lord's way of comforting me. He was letting me know that he was going to send a special kind of spirit down to help. How grateful I am for that! I LOVE my little puppy who is growing up way too fast! I'm excited for when we do finally get pregnant and have children because they are going to LOVE him too!

Oscar at about 5 Months!

Feel free to share any Deja Vu moments or dreams that you've had in the comments! I love to hear from you!

Til next time!
Becca

IUI #1- Procedure

I don't even know how to start this blog lol I've had a headache all day and can't think of anything catchy! So I'll just jump right into the events of that day.

First off, Randy and I were both very nervous for various reasons before the actual procedure. I was nervous because the last time someone had tried to get a catheter through my cervix they failed. And I was super worried that would happen again. I was also nervous about how painful it could be. I am permanently scarred emotionally because of when my doctor scraped the blockage away. I was certain it was going to be as painful as that.

Randy was nervous going in because of the two semen analysis' he had had done. One had a really bad count and the other had a pretty average count. He was worried that his donation wouldn't be enough.

We were both nervous and excited because this could be it. We could finally have a higher chance at getting pregnant compared to the chances we already have.

For the actual procedure, Randy had to go 2 hours early to give them his donation. This is because after they get his donation they have to do a special wash on the sperm. This wash makes them safe to be put directly into my uterus. For those wondering, women's cervix's usually do this job, by washing away the bad and letting in the good.

 Anyways...

The actual procedure went fairly quick. We got there and we went back. The doctor explained what she was going to do and we had to sign a waiver saying we understood the risks. (Uterine infection, UTI, and so on) After signing I got undressed and got on the table. The doctor came back in and told us Randy's numbers. They were just over 1 million... :( she told us that this lessened our odds but that we only need one. So we went ahead with the procedure.

As she was inserting the catheter she said that it usually takes a moment for her to get through (this worried me a lot) but almost as soon as she finished saying that she was able to get through my cervix!! I felt relief! At least I know for sure now that sperm can get up there! (Sorry if that was TMI) Despite my fears I barely had any pain throughout the procedure! Thank goodness for that! The doctor was able to place the sperm where they needed to be and then she told me to stay on the table and she would elevate my hips. I had to stay there for 15 minutes with my hips elevated and then I could get dressed and could come out to the foyer to receive instructions for the next two weeks.

They gave me directions on how often and when to take my next medication. Which I was to start two nights later. This medication was progesterone. This is the hormone your body usually produces after you ovulate to tell you're lining to thicken for pregnancy. This happens every month whether you're pregnant or not. They put me on it so that in the case that I did get pregnant that I would hopefully not be deficient in this hormone because it also helps sustain pregnancy.

After telling me about the prescription, my doctor set up an appointment for me to come back in two weeks to get a blood pregnancy test done.

We spent the rest of our day with family in Utah :)

Randy and I just after the procedure :)

IUI #1- Second Appointment

This time change has been crazy!! It's messing me up on my weekly schedule! That's why I'm a little late posting today. Anyways... You all want to know the next part of the story, so here it is!

Our next appointment for the IUI process was on day 12 of my cycle. At this appointment they do an ultrasound to check a couple of things. Randy and I were a little anxious about this appointment because it determined when we would do the actual IUI.

They put us into a room and I got ready for the ultrasound. The lady came in and began the ultrasound. She checked my uterine lining first. They do this to make sure your body has a thick enough lining to support a growing baby. Mine was right where it needed to be!

She then checked my ovaries to see how the medication I was given worked. She first checked my right ovary. It had an egg growing the measured at a 20. And then she checked my left ovary. It also had an egg growing that measured at a 24!!

After seeing this she informed us that they usually want to see the eggs between 20-24 before they do the trigger shot. This meant that I could get the trigger shot and the IUI would be done the next day!! We were so excited and anxious to finally know when the IUI would happen.

There was just one thing standing in our way. And that was the trigger shot... This shot contains the HCG hormone. Which as some of you know is the pregnancy hormone. This hormone tells my body to release the eggs. It also makes your body think you are pregnant and a lot of women will feel the symptoms of pregnancy in the days following.

I was supposed to give it to myself at the time they told me and I was nervous about that. I mean who likes to get shots?! Let alone have to give yourself those shots! Luckily for me, they said that they could give me the shot there since it was the time I would have given it to myself anyway. So we went into the room and a nurse showed me how to administer the shot in case there's a next time that I would actually have to give myself the shot. This shot is given in the belly and surprisingly the shot did not hurt! At least not until later lol

After I was given the shot they took us out and explained what would happen the next day. We left that appointment super excited and nervous!


I just want to give a little note of encouragement to all those women out there struggling to get pregnant. Don't give up hope!! Keep trying and doing your best! It will happen some day!

To those of you who have to give yourself shots every day for a treatment you're going through, I commend you! I know I'd struggle having to do that!

Til next time!
Becca