IUI #1- Test Day

As test day got closer and closer Randy and I got more and more nervous and hopeful. I mean we were excited but neither of us knew what the test would come back as. We were hopeful it would be positive but also nervous and knew that there was also the possibility for it to be negative. We had in the back of our minds all the past fails and I think that helped us to stay more grounded instead of up in the clouds with our hopes too high.

I debated with myself multiple times about taking an at home test just so I'd be prepared in case it was negative. After going back and forth for a few days I decided it would be best to wait.

When test day was finally here we drove to the doctors office so I could give my blood. The nurse was super nice but I ended up with the biggest bruise I have ever gotten from a blood draw! After she had finished she told us that we would get a call with the results later that afternoon.

While waiting we went and visited with family and friends and went and ate lunch. I kept hoping that when the call came we wouldn't be with family so that we could either have a happy or sad moment together.

As 1 o clock passed, then 2, then 3. I got more and more nervous and worried that maybe they wouldn't call and that we'd have to wait til the next week for results. As 4 o clock rolled around with still no call I had just about given up hope that they would call. Then the phone finally rang. We were at a mall and Randy unfortunately was in line purchasing something to drink. So I took the phone call myself.

As I'm typing this, all of the emotions of that day and the few days following are coming back.

The phone call went as follows.

Me: Hello
Doctor: Is this Rebecca Denson?
M: Yes, it is.
D: Hi, Rebecca. I was calling to let you know the results of your test this morning.
M: Ok...?
D: I am sorry to inform you but the test came back negative.
M: Oh, ok. Thank you.
D: We would like you to stop taking your medication and when your cycle begins give us a call.
M: Ok, I will. Thank you.
D: Goodbye.
M: Bye

This is a good representation of how we felt.

We were in a very public place so I had to hold myself together. I told Randy the results. And not too long after we left. When we got in the car we talked about it all. We decided that I needed to stay with my family until my cycle started since that would be in a couple of days. And that I would go to the first ultrasound for the next IUI myself with either my sister or my mom. Since Randy had to be back to work.

 We then went to visit Randy's grandma. She knew why we were down and she asked if we had gotten the results. I couldn't speak, and luckily Randy could and he told her that it was a no. Thankfully she changed the subject and we had a nice visit with her. We then headed back to Wyoming.

Randy called his parents and let them know. My sister texted me and we texted her back and let her know as well. When we got to my families house everyone was asleep so we went in to the guest room and fell asleep too.

The next morning Randy left to head home for work later that day and I stayed. My parents had to work so I didn't see them until they got back. This whole time I thought my sister had been with my family and had told them all the results. When my parents asked what the results were I realized I was wrong and that she hadn't. Randy wasn't there to tell them for me so I had to tell them I was not pregnant. I cried for the first time and my mom cried with me. I explained to them our plan for me to stay until my cycle began so we could do another IUI.

This was one of the hardest blogs I have ever had to write. It is definitely one of the most emotional ones so far at least for me. That day was one of the hardest days that I've had to go through so far. I know that you are all just as hopeful as I am that some day that call will be the one that says, Congrats! You're pregnant! I hope that day is sooner rather than later.

This is one of my favorite talks from Elder Holland. 

You can either read the talk here: Talk 

Or watch the mormon message here: Good Things to Come Video

Randy and I have not given up hope. One failed attempt does not mean we have to quit. It actually taught us so much and raised questions for both Randy and I and our doctor which I will write about soon :) Every time you fail at something you learn something new that you remember the next time you try. These things you learn eventually help you succeed and I look forward to the day when we have finally learned everything we need to know and succeed in our attempts to get pregnant! :)

For those wondering where I am at in telling our story this happened back in September so we are slowly getting closer to where we are in our story now. :)

I hope your day goes awesome!
Til next time!
Becca

Also just a note, as Thanksgiving is next week and I believe that day should be spent with family. There will be no new blog posts the whole week of Thanksgiving!